Even though my dentist doubted that I had Lyme disease, I began to think that perhaps I did have it. At this point, my Rheumatologist ran tests a genetic test to see if I had a genetic defect for arthritis. The results came back negative. He seemed puzzled. He said, "you shouldn't even have this." I thought to myself, "but why am I being treated for this then? Why are we pretending that I have Rheumatoid arthritis, when I don't?"
That evening, I started to revisit the idea that I could have Lyme disease. I looked up various web pages that described the symptoms. I looked like someone who had Lyme. Even the pictures on the Center for Disease Control looked just like my legs. I wrote to a Lyme disease support group, asking them if there were any Lyme literate doctors in my area. I put that thought in the back of my mind and went to sleep.
The next day, I woke up, went straight to the bathroom, and flushed all of the methotrexate that I had been taking for the arthritis down the toilet. My hair was falling out, it was destroying my stomach, I didn't look like the same person, and I was getting worse. I cancelled my next appointment with the arthritis doctor.
A few days later, I received an email from the Lyme disease support group. They did have the name of a Lyme disease doctor in a town just north of Indianapolis, just a half hour away. When I called, however, the receptionist said that the doctor was very busy and would not be accepting any new patients until January. I would have to call back in October to make my first appointment for January. By that time, it was September and I was facing another cold, painful winter. What else could I do but agree?